“I MEAN YES!”
...The Disasters I Don't.

“Ewwww, I can’t believe we have to wear these ugly things again!” Charya pulled at the collar of her uniform, like she could turn it into something more to her tastes with enough tugs. No, no, but that would never work, for surely if we could so easily discard anything which brought distress…

Then I wouldn’t BE in this situation in the FIRST PLACE!!

Augghhhh, stop! Ale, don’t you dare start thinking things like that, or you may just consider quitting and bearing the embarrassment of moving back into your parent’s house in your THIRTIES! Too embarrassing, far too embarrassing, I’d rather die now…

Something in the air whizzed behind me—something heavy. I screamed as loudly as embarrassingly possible and stumbled back to see the perpetrator: Neblu, getting a swing in with her brand new ax. Just the blade alone stretched to half my size, a bright metal red with a white handle. Honestly, how did she even carry it…?

And why did she swing it at me!?

“Sorry,” she said in such a deadpan voice I had a hard time believing she gave a genuine apology, as rude as it felt for me to think that. Surely, everyone would be happy to see someone like me decapitated… “Didn’t see you there.”

“It’s okay…” My voice trailed off into a mumble. I think my poor heart wanted to give out from the stress. I ended up scampering away from her before she could accidentally (or on purpose) hit me, finding a bench against the edge where no one else sat.

We rested on the roof of headquarters. Tall fences surrounded the edges in case anyone accidentally fell from the railing—or just wanted to leave a ghastly sight. The feeling almost seemed reasonable, to create a bloody spectacle in the only way one would matter, though benches stood just a bit away from the fences too. I imagined it would be a nice place to eat lunch if we ever had time to.

Hm, maybe it’d be nice to make a big lunch for everyone someday. Then again, I didn’t think anyone considered me close enough for that. Except for…

“Hey.”

Him, maybe.

Dori sat down next to me.

He’s a…well, I liked to think he was nice. He could be as hard to read as the densest, longest textbooks, but compared to the others, he always looked out for those around him and generally apologized when he said something unkind. He was a good person, right? He helped me a few times too—and he even asked for my phone number! No one had asked for that from me since…

Since…

Years ago…..

I mean unless you counted Erna but everything between us was really weird because she was my boss and super direct and only needed it for work I mean and she also knew how to push at my insecure points but also she truly did wish to help I felt but also she really didn’t know how to but no she had good intentions she tried very hard she—

I needed to say something before I scared him away.

“Hi! Hhhh…how are you doing on this fine afternoon?”

I deserved to die.

He waved, unaffected by my humiliating outburst. “Hey. Before we go, kinda wanted to ask you something. If it’s cool.”

“Uh, yes! Go ahead, I mean, I have no plans later—I mean we all do—I mean! Uh. Please?”

Stop, stop, stop! This was like watching a—something, something—

He put an arm around my shoulder. “Once we’re done with this…I thought we could get dinner. If you don’t mind? I can pay. I know it’s kinda pricey to get a good place, so…”

“Uhhhh—“ WHAT??? WHAT?????

He wanted to ask ME out? Well, I thought, he made it clear he was interested in men before, and I was the only guy (Kaleo didn’t count), but surely someone kind like him would have had so many other options. Didn’t they tell you not to date your coworkers too? Not like I’d listened in the past, but…

It’d been far too long since I’d gone on a date, much less engaged in a relationship. Being presentable only got you so far in this world. Not that I blamed people for wanting financial stability, or someone who could get a decent job.

Or—any job…other than this death trap of a career.

“…Are you giving me a yes, or no, or…” Dori tilted his head to the side ever so slightly. He reached down to his neck, then frowned when he grasped for his scarf which he’d long since removed, as if he somehow forgot.

What should I say? He was nice. Yes, nice—that was nice enough, how nice, extremely nice, niceness all around.

“Ah! I…well, of course not!”

“I MEAN YES!”

Dori blinked. “Hm. ‘Kay. Got a place in mind already, if that’s cool. You don’t got allergies, do you?”

“No, not really…” If I did, I’d gladly take the deadly reaction if it meant not ruining this.

“Great. See you then.” He patted me on the shoulder, a slight up-tick on his lips reminding me of a smile without quite being one. Then, he got up and walked to the other side of the roof, though I had to force myself to look away. Otherwise I knew I’d worry about whether or not he actually had something to do, or if he just wanted to get away from me.

I leaned back so my shoulders hit the railing, took deep breaths to quell the panic of my racing heart. What I didn’t expect, after everything, was to hear Kelsey’s voice right next to me.

“You good?”

As always, she looked far more intimidating than she acted—no, actually, she still acted quite scary. But it more so resembled the terrifying nature of a small bug biting you. It happened so suddenly, coming out of nowhere and leaving you stunned, but it never felt too bad after the fact. A little wound, a little scratch.

Wait, did this sound mean? I felt more used to her icy gaze, her tense frame, the spear she kept tucked in her lap.

“Uh, I…somewhat.” I looked towards the ground. I found it far easier to speak to her when I didn’t try to meet her eyes. “Dori asked me to join him in a romantic outing. I said yes, since—well, he’s so nice. Surely, even if I mess it up here and there, it can’t go that badly…probably…”

“Huh, really? You?” Kelsey said as she leaned in closer, then added, “I mean—not in a bad way. Just, he barely fucking met you. It’s so out of nowhere.”

“Maybe he’s just the sort of person who prefers to start casually?” Like a dried up river, maybe he waited for the rains of love to fall in order to get his currents flowing once more. I hoped I wasn’t the burning sun who brought in the droughts of awkwardness, though this may as well had been the case before he even asked.

Kelsey shrugged. Out of nowhere, she delivered to me such a hard pat on the back, I flinched. “Maybe. Eh, just don’t stress about it. You always look so damn wound up as is.”

“Really…?” Gods, I really was a screw up. Everyone noticed.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t start crying about it. You may be three seconds from a panic attack every time I look at you, but maybe it charmed him? I don’t fucking know. Just be yourself.”

I relaxed my shoulders and rocked in place, not knowing quite what to say. Perhaps she was right, perhaps not—but I sat paralyzed, unable to decide on one or the other. Afraid to be wrong.

As always.

“…Or do whatever you want. Just—good luck.”

Kelsey hummed and crossed her legs. After a moment, she added, “Hey. You mind if I add your number after this? This way you can update me on how things go over pissing about it in your head. Worst case scenario, I’ll help you get some ice cream to treat the tears.”

Bad as the scenario sounded, I laughed—then clamped my mouth shut. No, that wasn’t funny…or, well, maybe a little… “Sure. I suppose I wouldn’t mind.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Just don’t expect me to buy it for you. That’s not what I meant by help, if your dumb ass is thinking it.”

“Hey!! I wasn’t!”

No, I was thinking it, but I wasn’t going to admit it!